Wanted: Someone with Astronaut Experience

I applied for a job in a restaurant. The man interviewing me said that he wanted someone with astronaut experience. I showed him a photo of the moon that I kept in my wallet. I start next week.

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Unknowable

Scientists spend a lot of time wondering where the moon came from. My parents spent a lot of time wondering where I came from. Some answers are unknowable.

The Martians Invaded

I started writing a novel today. The title is “The Martians Invaded.” It is the tale of a married couple becoming bank robbers. My wife suggests that the book’s title is misleading. I pointed out that the couple’s name was Jim and Patty Martian. The title is not misleading at all.

Dating…

I thought that I lost my laptop until I found that my dog had it. He joined an online dating service to meet other dogs. His personality profile states “Looking for a poodle to settle down with.”

The Revolutionary

My Dad loves his hobbies. Besides building model planes, he overthrows foreign governments.

Car Raffle

Last week I was thrilled to learn that I had won a car in a raffle. Today I learned that the car isn’t a real car. It’s a blow-up car. It’s a balloon in the shape of a car. After it’s inflated, you pulled out the plug in the rear, and the escaping air blows you down the street. And to add insult to injury, I still had to get car insurance for it and it was double the cost.

Dry Cleaning

I took my pants to the dry cleaners but didn’t have enough money so I asked them to clean just one leg. Wouldn’t you know, the guy cleaned the wrong one.