I didn’t get the job…

Catholic Pope

I really thought I was going to be elected Pope. I snuck into the conclave, made friends with all the right people, said a few “Hail Mary’s” and put some money in the collection basket. But, no, they went with some guy from South America.
And it’s suggested that he chose the name “Francis” in honor of St. Francis of Assisi. I don’t believe that. I think it’s after Francis “Frank” Sinatra.

March 13th

I stopped buying pants made of cotton.
Now I buy them made of Brazil Nuts.

I wonder why people say, “I don’t have all the answers.”
Was somebody asking them all the questions?

The happiest day of my life was when my son and daughter claimed that they were adopted.
I said yes and dropped them off at a neighbor’s home.