Merry Christmas…

breaking bad, merry christmas

…Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year.
And let us not forget the Stonehenge Druids (December 21st) –
Happy Shortest Day of the Year!
If I forgot anyone, forgive me.

TARGET is a Target

For those not familiar with the story – 40 million credit and debit cards numbers of customers where stolen when the store’s computers were hacked.
So what does Target do to get customers back in the stores? Offer them a 10% discount on anything in the store.

That’s like the NSA saying, “If you forgive us for collecting all of your phone and email records in the past, we’ll stop spying on you once a week – whatever day you choose!”

In the News – Dec 20th.

Spotted this on a popular news website –
“North Korea makes “merciless” threat – via fax”.
Don’t those guys know that these threats will be ignored if they’re not
followed up with threats on Facebook and Twitter?

The International Diplomat

Dennis Rodman is apparently heading back to visit his new best friend the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-un.

I guess I misunderstood Dennis but I thought that I was his new best friend. He’d stop by the house, we’d watch whatever game was on, eat some chips and end the evening by scaring the neighbors and stomping through their gardens. And if we were really up-for-it, we’d let the air out of some car tires.

Apparently that wasn’t good enough for Dennis. I guess what he wanted was a friend with an army. Someone who could bomb the neighbors and blow up their cars. I’m feeling hurt. If I had the energy I’d take over some country and when Dennis came running back, I’d tell’em to get lost. I’d make new friends and bomb the neighbors with them.

In the Family…

My mother worked for the N.S.A..
My father worked for the C.I.A..
I made a fortune selling government secrets back and forth.

Vladimir Putin…


…prepares to cut down a forest of Christmas trees!

In the News – 12-16-13

Did you hear? China has landed on the moon.
I hear that they’re looking to rebrand themselves.
Nobody likes buying stuff “Made in China”,
so the Chinese want to setup a factory on the moon
and ship about a million workers there.

In the News…Dec 13th.

I read that the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, has executed his uncle,
the 2nd most powerful man in the country, for being a traitor.
All I know is, I wouldn’t want to be Kim’s mother-in-law.

Before & After


A miracle of modern cosmetic surgery!

Call 1-800-555-AMAZING for your free consultation.

In The News Today…..

Saw this headline on today, “200,000 people apply to live on Mars.
They heard that the Affordable Care Website was working perfectly there.