Separated at Birth


My Son & Will Wheaton from Star Trek

The universe dealt a nasty blow
when I wasn’t made Wheaton’s dad.

I could’ve been rolling in dough.

Monday Morning Blues….

Growing up I received the same birthday present every year –
a one-way bus ticket out of town.

I’ve been without food or water for over a week.
It started when my wife returned from vacation.

When people say, “It’s about time!”,
what they really mean is, “It took you THIS long to figure out
I didn’t know what I was doing?”

Scientists spend a lot of time wondering where the moon came from.
My parents spent a lot of time wondering where I came from.
The answer seems to be unknowable.

In most of the world, men wear pants and women wear dresses.
Why isn’t it the other way around?

I was visiting a friend.
I spotted this large device in his kitchen and asked him what it was.
He called it a “refrigerator”. Said that it was used to keep food fresh.
Wow! I thought that’s what washing machines were used for.

Mother-in-Law Problems


On a recent post, I showed my Mother-in-Law coming to visit.

Here, I’m going on vacation with the family and she’s following me.
I can never get away from that woman.

Just wondering….

Had a snowstorm yesterday. Another one is due tomorrow. Possible BIG one on Sunday.
I wonder how the tribal nations dealt with all this 500 years ago.

If I were alive then, I’d be an Aztec.
I’d be living south of the border.

My only hope…they had some sunscreen.