Halloween

Halloween is celebrated differently in my town.
The roles are reversed.
The parents go door-to-door and the kids give out the candy.
One year my dad dressed up as a shark.
The boy next door gave him a can of tuna.

At the Museum…

I was at a museum when the curator asked me if I liked the paintings.
I said that I thought the walls could use another coat.

Fuel…

George Peterson has developed the world’s first line of “Gasoline Clothes”. Produced in a variety of styles and colors ranging from 3-piece suits to blue jeans, these clothes can power a car. “So if you ever run out of gas again,” Mr. Peters stated, “you simply take off your shirt, put it in the gas tank and drive off.”

The Runner…

My grandfather was a jogging enthusiast.
When he died, he didn’t have the traditional wake.
Instead of a coffin, he was put on a treadmill.

Doin’ Laundry…

My buddy doesn’t use laundry detergent.
He puts his clothes in the washer and throws in a cat.
He said the cat does a better job.

My ebook (there are no) Answers to the Mysteries
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So go download it!

The Traveler…

Harvey Smith is the world’s most frugal traveler.
He glues himself to the bottom of a jet moments before take-off.

Laundry…

In 1968 the earth was on the brink of an alien invasion.
It was averted when my father agreed to do
their laundry for the next 10 years, free of charge.

Destinations…

I don’t understand how anyone can fly non-stop.
If it’s non-stop, how do they get off the plane when they get there?

Choices…

As I age, I think about heaven and hell.
Why are those my only 2 choices?

Speaking…

I woke up the other day speaking French.
I forgot English.