Good Morning…..Day 160

From my book “5 Pumpkins & a Head” –

He knocked on the front door to pick up his date.
The girl’s father answered.
“You dare try and seduce my daughter you Chinese filth!” he screamed, pointing a gun at him.
“No, sir, no. It’s nothing like that,” he said. “We’re just going to the mall. Please sir, I mean no harm. And I’m not Chinese.” He backed away from the old man.
“Don’t you talk to me you French scum! You want to get my daughter drunk so you can take advantage of her!” He fired some shots into the air.
“I wasn’t going to do any such thing,” he pleaded. “I wasn’t going to lay a hand on your daughter. Now please put down that gun. Somebody might get hurt. And I’m also not French.”
“You Italian degenerate! You expect me to believe that? You come to my home to get my daughter and you’re not going to try anything? Do you think I’m an idiot?” he screamed, shooting the gun off several more times.
“No sir, you’re not an idiot. Just mistaken. Like when you called me an Italian. I’m not.”
“You’re a Polish rapist and I’m going to kill you!” He fired the gun directly at him.
“I’m not Polish!” he shouted, jumping behind a tree.
“I intend to make an example of your death to all Japanese garbage. You can’t expect to lay a hand on my daughter and get away with it.”
“And I’m not Japanese either!”
“So you’re from Argentina?”

Good Morning…..Day 159

My mother is a person who will never admit to anything. If I accused her of being a woman, she would deny it.

Good Morning…..Day 154

Scientists spend a lot of time wondering where the moon came from. My parents spent a lot of time wondering where I came from. Some answers are unknowable.

Good Morning…..Day 149

I was fired from my job for combing my hair all day. I told my boss, I thought that WAS my job.

Good Morning…..Day 143

My wife redecorated our house. She held a séance and claimed a ghost made the suggestions. After seeing the result I told her to get a new ghost.