Friends

It’s been several years since I’ve seen my best friend Jack. We grew up together losing touch after college. He called and wanted to meet up at a coffee shop.
“Jack!” I said, confused and shaking his hand.
“It’s great seeing you too,” he replied, puzzled and shaking mine.
We stared at each other in disbelief. Apparently we had both completely forgotten what the other looked like.
“So Jack, how’s my sister doing?”
“She’s fine.”
Jack’s my brother-in-law.

My Wife and My Mother

My wife has much in common with my mother. They both had their teeth knocked out in a barroom fight.

Good Afternoon…..Day 110

I was fired from my job for combing my hair all day. I told my boss, I thought that WAS my job.

Good Afternoon…..Day 106

I found out some disturbing news recently. My mother told me that I have a brother that I’ve never met. I also found out that he likes to dress up as a woman. And, without my knowing it, I’ve been dating him.

Good Afternoon…..Day 105

My Dad loves his hobbies. Besides building model planes, he overthrows foreign governments.

Good Afternoon…..Day 102

My nephew is at a crossroads. He’s entering college and can’t decide on a major. I suggested philosophy. I said that as a philosopher you never have to be right. You make suggestions, have opinions, speak extemporaneously and don’t have to concern yourself with facts. There is only one exception. You have to know how to spell “Nietzsche”. And if you can grow a mustache like him, that’ll guarantee you a job.