Learning to Drive

My son is learning to drive. He changed a flat today. He took the flat tire off my car and put it on his.

Family Tree

I am of mixed ancestry. I am part Italian, part Chinese and part fish. I just hope that it’s not part goldfish because when I die, I’ll be flushed down the toilet.

Reincarnation

My Dad believed in reincarnation. All my life, he called me Mr. President.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

I read a spy novel backwards. By the time I got to the first page, I thought the bad guy was innocent.

My Dear Departed Uncle

I attended a wake for a dear departed uncle. He looked so peaceful lying there that I decided to take a selfie with him. I couldn’t understand it when the other guests started screaming at me. Then I realized why. I had walked into the wrong room. I quickly escaped and found my uncle down the hallway. When I walked into that room, I found a line of people waiting to take selfies with the man.

Annoyed, I returned to the first room and let the visitors scream at me again while I took the photos. It was easier then standing on the line for my uncle. Besides, this guy looked like him. Who would know?

Cause of Death

Run Run Shaw, the man who popularized Kung Fu films, died at 107 years old. In his obituary it stated, “No cause of death given.” You mean 107 years old is NOT a cause of death?!

Multiple Mysteries

Can you explain…
– Who were the Watermelon Men of Los Angeles?
– Who was the well-dressed businessman found buried under 2 feet of ice in the Antarctica?
– Who were the people living in Australia that ate a diet of mostly size 12 shoes?
– Bigfoot… Who is this creature? Is it just a foot or does it have a whole body attached?

CPR…

toy robot

…important not just for people.

My Newborn Son

I bought a book “10,000 Baby Names”. After reading the choices I decided to name my son after the book.

Dad

My dad loved tennis but was lousy at it. He’d hold the ball and hit the racket back and forth.