Good Morning – September 30th

I’ve only a known a few people in my life. I like it that way. If I knew a lot of people, I’d have trouble remembering all their names.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – September 23rd

There are 88 keys on a piano. I had one specially built with 89 and gave it to a concert pianist. He had a nervous breakdown.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – September 21st

I applied for a job at the unemployment office. They asked for my qualifications. I said I was unemployed. They said I was overqualified.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – September 16th

I was sorting family photos when I realized I didn’t recognize anyone.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – September 14th

I got a job working in a circus to pay for college. Eventually the college threw me out because I was followed by clowns all day.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – September 10th

I stayed overnight in a hotel. Very nice, but I only saw old people. When I checked out in the morning I had to be cleared by a doctor. Turned out it was a nursing home.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – September 7th

I surprised my wife with flowers for her birthday and sang her a song. She never heard me sing and called 911.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – September 1st

I bought a lawn mower for my living room carpet. I’m not sure, but I think the pile is growing.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense