NASA Called . . .

I received a phone call from NASA informing me I had been accepted into their astronaut- training program. Very surprised, I said I had never applied. There was an awkward silence for several seconds before being asked, “Do you want to be an astronaut?” I said that I hadn’t thought about it.
“Well, do you?” repeated the NASA employee.
“I’m not good at math and I’m not a scientist,” I said.
“You got a car?”
“Yes.”
“You’re in.”
“All I need is a car to be an astronaut?” I said.
“Yea,” whispered the NASA employee. “Presently the astronauts all take the bus. Do you know how it feels when you have the rocket all ready to blast off, the press is here, the world is watching and the astronauts are shown getting off the #93 bus before walking into the space center?”
“No.”
“It’s embarrassing. So we’re looking for wannabe astronauts who own a car. Do you want to join?”
I’m driving to Florida.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – June 1st

I received a phone call from NASA informing me I had been accepted into their astronaut- training program. Very surprised, I said I had never applied. There was an awkward silence for several seconds before being asked, “Do you want to be an astronaut?” I said that I hadn’t thought about it.
“Well, do you?” repeated the NASA employee.
“I’m not good at math and I’m not a scientist,” I said.
“You got a car?”
“Yes.”
“You’re in.”
“All I need is a car to be an astronaut?” I said.
“Yea,” whispered the NASA employee. “Presently the astronauts all take the bus. Do you know how it feels when you have the rocket all ready to blast off, the press is here, the world is watching and the astronauts are shown getting off the #93 bus before walking into the space center?”
“No.”
“It’s embarrassing. So we’re looking for wannabe astronauts who own a car. Do you want to join?”
I’m driving to Florida.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense