Bow & Arrow

My father was an old-fashioned provider. He hunted with a bow & arrow. There was never a problem until he came to the canned-good section in the supermarket.

Paternity Test

A man claiming to be my son had a court order for a paternity test. I thought he looked too old to be my son but I took the test and the results showed I was his son.

Dad?

I was raised by my Mom and she told me my dad was Mark Twain. That was a disappointment because I thought he was Jed Clampett.

Thanks Dad

My dad bought me my first car. Actually he just gave me a tire. I had to supply the rest.

Dad & his Hobbies

My Dad loves his hobbies. Besides building model planes, he overthrows foreign governments.

Dad

I rarely saw my Dad as a child. He thought he was Superman and the wore costume under his regular clothes. When the phone rang, he’d answer, then tear off his clothes and fly out the window. We lived on the 3nd floor. Years later I learned I didn’t see him because he was in the hospital a lot.

Dad

My dad loved tennis but was lousy at it. He’d hold the ball and hit the racket back and forth.

Business Conference

My Dad attended a business conference. His boss suggested he wear a suit but dad didn’t have one. So he bought a second-hand one at the local army/navy store. It belonged to Neil Armstrong. He wore it on the Moon.

My Father, the Surgeon

My father earned money doing odd jobs. At times he was a janitor, a window washer and a heart surgeon. Once, in the middle of surgery, he was called away to unclog a toilet.

Best Days

Something I spotted on another website –

“I used to think the best days of my life might involve marriage, children, maybe career success. Then visiting my brother in Perth, Australia I saw a pelican do a massive fly-by shit on a toddler’s head. Game over.”