First Kiss

I remember my first kiss. Unfortunately so does the girl and she’s been sending me hate mail ever since.

Dating

I never believed in life after death until I started dating.

First Date

I went out on a first date. I met the young lady at the laundromat. We enjoyed dinner by candlelight while we washed our clothes. I ended it after I learned she just used me for my detergent.

Dating

Dating was difficult for me. Women did not like it when I’d show up in my shorts, asking for something to wear.

First Kiss

I remember my first kiss. Unfortunately so does the girl and she’s been sending me hate mail ever since.

Dating

I never believed in life after death until I started dating.

First Date

I went out on a first date. I met the young lady at the laundromat. We enjoyed dinner by candlelight while we washed our clothes. I ended it after I learned she just used me for my detergent.

First Date

Dating was difficult for me. Women did not like it when I’d show up in my shorts, asking for something to wear.

Dating

He knocked on the front door to pick up his date.
The girl’s father answered.
“You dare try and seduce my daughter you Chinese filth!” he screamed, pointing a gun at him.
“No, sir, no. It’s nothing like that,” he said. “We’re just going to the mall. Please sir, I mean no harm. And I’m not Chinese.” He backed away from the old man.
“Don’t you talk to me you French scum! You want to get my daughter drunk so you can take advantage of her!” He fired some shots into the air.
“I wasn’t going to do any such thing,” he pleaded. “I wasn’t going to lay a hand on your daughter. Now please put down that gun. Somebody might get hurt. And I’m also not French.”
“You Italian degenerate! You expect me to believe that? You come to my home to get my daughter and you’re not going to try anything? Do you think I’m an idiot?” he screamed, shooting the gun off several more times.
“No sir, you’re not an idiot. Just mistaken. Like when you called me an Italian. I’m not.”
“You’re a Polish rapist and I’m going to kill you!” He fired the gun directly at him. “I’m not Polish!” he shouted, jumping behind a tree.
“I intend to make an example of your death to all Japanese garbage. You can’t expect to lay a hand on my daughter and get away with it.”
“And I’m not Japanese either!”
“So you’re from Argentina?”

Dating

The first woman I dated was insane. The second was homicidal. The third was charitable. My advice – never date someone who is charitable.