Happy New Year!

As the new year approaches, I thought it was time to go on a diet. And it was time to start exercising. So I’ve combined the two – eating while performing isometrics (the science of muscle resistance). As each spoonful of food approaches my mouth, my empty hand pushes against the one with the food. Early results show good weight loss and buildup of arm strength.
I was at a diner for breakfast today and my waitress watched and wondered what I was doing. When I explained my diet and exercise plan, she got the rest of her co-workers to help. At one point, I had a slice of bacon within inches of my mouth while 5 waitresses helped me push back.
I left a big tip. I also left very hungry.

Good Afternoon…..Day 80

I went for a walk.
Couldn’t find a store that sold one.

Good Morning…..Day 20

It’s time to go on a diet. And it’s time to start exercising. So I’ve combined the two – eating while performing isometrics (the science of muscle resistance). As each spoonful of food approaches my mouth, my empty hand pushes against the one with the food. Early results show good weight loss and buildup of arm strength.
I was at a diner for breakfast today and my waitress watched and wondered what I was doing. When I explained my diet and exercise plan, she got the rest of her co-workers to help. At one point, I had a slice of bacon within inches of my mouth while 5 waitresses helped me push back.
I left a big tip. I also left very hungry.

Russian Competition

In Russia a popular sport is pole-vaulting but most Russians do not have the necessary equipment so they have to substitute. Instead of jumping over poles, they jump over goats. It’s called “goat-vaulting”.

UFO’s & Aliens & UFOs

UFOs – Are they the imagination of many? Or are they for real. If they do exist, are they a menace? Or are they peaceful? Are they Jewish? Or are they Gentile? Are they employed? Or have they come looking for a job? These questions and many more must be answered if we’re to know the full story behind these visitors from outer space.

In light of recent evidence, we have a new awareness that the “aliens” have aided us down through the centuries. The ancient Chinese remember them as the “Bringer of Detergent” giving rise to a future chain of hand laundries throughout the world. The aliens gave the Vikings deodorant and thus doubled their life expectancy. The Egyptians received the world’s first daily newspaper from them, the “Pyramid Gazette”, which also inspired them to build the pyramids. And the aliens introduced “Kool-Aid” to the Arabs to help them beat the heat.

Then we have the stories told by people who have come into contact with the aliens. Here is one account…
Late in the evening in 1960 in Arkansas, Bobby and his Mom were abducted by a UFO. They claim that they were taken to the alien’s home-world and were fed knockwurst and sauerkraut for lunch. Upon finishing they were told why they had been abducted. Alien archeologists were excavating and had made a discovery – an object that resembled the Earth’s toilet. Then one of the aliens accidentally flushed it. Well, it was still in working order and it was also clogged, so it backed up and overflowed. And it continued overflowing for days. All work at the archaeology site ground to a halt. The aliens, not knowing what to do, decided to travel to Earth to find a plumber. Upon reaching Earth and searching through the phone book, they settled on little Bobby and his Mom. (They ran a small plumbing business.)

Back at the archaeology site, Bobby and his Mom quickly sized up the situation and what they would require. Since they didn’t have their tools with them, they drew a sketch for the aliens of what they needed. The aliens sent the design off to their factory and 2 weeks later Bobby and his Mom received the tool – a plunger.

Immediately they went to work and the toilet was fixed. Bobby and his Mom became instant celebrities on the alien planet. They were awarded a year’s supply of knockwurst and sauerkraut, made guest appearances on TV shows and cut-the-ribbon on a plumbing school built and named in their honor. (Bobby and his Mom oversaw the curriculum for the school.)

After a period of time, they were returned to Earth and told their story. Naturally no one believed them. They were shunned by their community, had to close their plumbing business and move away. It was about 40 years later, Bobby was living in Montana, his mother had since died, that local residents thought maybe the story was true. On one night, a group of fisherman spotted a UFO landing on Bobby’s property. One of the alien’s knocked on Bobby’s door, he answered and spoke to alien. Bobby went back into his house, and then came back out with a plunger in hand, entered the UFO, then came back out a few minutes later. The aliens shook hands with Bobby, got back in their UFO and then flew away. Maybe it was true after all.