Dedicated Employee

I worked as a security guard in a funeral parlor. There was an incident where a deceased man wasn’t deceased and he tried to leave. I made sure he didn’t.

College Job

I worked my way through college as a substitute dictator. If a government were overthrown I’d hold power until another dictator was found.

Looking for a Job

I applied for a job at the unemployment office. They asked for my qualifications. I said I was unemployed. They said I was overqualified.

Customer Service

I applied for a job as a customer service rep answering the phone. During the interview, I was given instructions on how to talk to the clients –
1- Snoring loudly to confuse the caller.
2- Answering the phone while gargling.
3- Telling the caller that he or she has reached the airport.
4- Advising the caller to call back at midnight.
5- Answering the phone while imitating a cat.
The pay is minimum wage.

Working my Way through College

I worked my way through college as a substitute dictator. If a government were overthrown I’d hold power until another dictator was found.

Dream Job

I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut. So I moved to Hollywood, went to acting school and auditioned for dozens of movies, never getting the job. I almost gave up on my dream when I discovered a place called NASA. Maybe I’ll try there.

Dedicated Employee

I worked as a security guard in a funeral parlor. There was an incident where a deceased man wasn’t deceased and he tried to leave. I made sure he didn’t.

College Job

I worked my way through college as a substitute dictator. If a government were overthrown I’d hold power until another dictator was found.

Looking for a Job

I applied for a job at the unemployment office. They asked for my qualifications. I said I was unemployed. They said I was overqualified.

Layoffs

I arrived at work to hear my boss announce there would be layoffs and he had given our paychecks to strangers on the street. He said employees who found the people with their checks could keep their jobs.