NASA Called . . .

I received a phone call from NASA informing me I had been accepted into their astronaut- training program. Very surprised, I said I had never applied. There was an awkward silence for several seconds before being asked, “Do you want to be an astronaut?” I said that I hadn’t thought about it.
“Well, do you?” repeated the NASA employee.
“I’m not good at math and I’m not a scientist,” I said.
“You got a car?”
“Yes.”
“You’re in.”
“All I need is a car to be an astronaut?” I said.
“Yea,” whispered the NASA employee. “Presently the astronauts all take the bus. Do you know how it feels when you have the rocket all ready to blast off, the press is here, the world is watching and the astronauts are shown getting off the #93 bus before walking into the space center?”
“No.”
“It’s embarrassing. So we’re looking for wannabe astronauts who own a car. Do you want to join?”
I’m driving to Florida.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Space Travel

NASA requested I write an article for their magazine-

Where No Man Has Gone Before…

Space travel. Unquestionably dangerous, but safer than getting a haircut from a dolphin, mankind has dreamt of travel in outer space. We began our journey by sending monkeys into orbit followed by white men in astronaut suits. (These men were specially picked because they couldn’t tan at the beach. NASA thought that orbiting them closer to the sun would help.) After nearly a decade of hard work, on July 20, 1969, Apollo 11 touched down on the surface of the moon! And, just to prove that we could now go anywhere, six months later Apollo 12 touched down on the surface of China! There was no stopping us now.
During the 1970’s there was a change in strategy. Astronauts remained in earth orbit (they were all men and their wives wanted them closer to home to help with the laundry) while we sent machines into the outer reaches of the solar system. One probe named Voyager had a recorded message. If found by extraterrestrials it said, “Hello! I am from the planet Earth. Do you have the time?” (It spoke in English because in every movie the aliens always spoke English so it was assumed they did in real life.)
As we continue to explore, space experts predict that private citizens will own their own spaceships and fly to the moon and beyond. My gut response was that would never happen but after seeing a man suck an egg up his nose I’m not sure. Anything’s possible.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

The Astronaut

I received a phone call from NASA informing me that I had been accepted into
their astronaut-training program. Very surprised, I said that I had never applied. There was an awkward silence for several seconds before being asked, “Do you want to be an astronaut?”
“I’m not good at math and I’m not a scientist,” I said.
“We’re not either,” answered NASA. “You got a car?”
I said yes.
“You’re in.”
“All I need is a car to be an astronaut?”
“Yea,” whispered the NASA employee. “Presently the astronauts all take the bus to get here. Do you know how it feels when you have the rocket all ready to blast off, the press is here, the world is watching and the astronauts are shown getting off the #93 bus before walking into the space center?”
“No.”
“It’s embarrassing,” stated the NASA employee. “So we’re looking for wannabe astronauts who own a car. Do you want to join?”
I’m driving down to Florida.

Good Morning – June 1st

I received a phone call from NASA informing me I had been accepted into their astronaut- training program. Very surprised, I said I had never applied. There was an awkward silence for several seconds before being asked, “Do you want to be an astronaut?” I said that I hadn’t thought about it.
“Well, do you?” repeated the NASA employee.
“I’m not good at math and I’m not a scientist,” I said.
“You got a car?”
“Yes.”
“You’re in.”
“All I need is a car to be an astronaut?” I said.
“Yea,” whispered the NASA employee. “Presently the astronauts all take the bus. Do you know how it feels when you have the rocket all ready to blast off, the press is here, the world is watching and the astronauts are shown getting off the #93 bus before walking into the space center?”
“No.”
“It’s embarrassing. So we’re looking for wannabe astronauts who own a car. Do you want to join?”
I’m driving to Florida.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – May 25th

NASA requested I write an article for their magazine-

Where No Man Has Gone Before…

Space travel. Unquestionably dangerous, but safer than getting a haircut from a dolphin, mankind has dreamt of travel in outer space. We began our journey by sending monkeys into orbit followed by white men in astronaut suits. (These men were specially picked because they couldn’t tan at the beach. NASA thought that orbiting them closer to the sun would help.) After nearly a decade of hard work, on July 20, 1969, Apollo 11 touched down on the surface of the moon! And, just to prove that we could now go anywhere, six months later Apollo 12 touched down on the surface of China! There was no stopping us now.
During the 1970’s there was a change in strategy. Astronauts remained in earth orbit (they were all men and their wives wanted them closer to home to help with the laundry) while we sent machines into the outer reaches of the solar system. One probe named Voyager had a recorded message. If found by extraterrestrials it said, “Hello! I am from the planet Earth. Do you have the time?” (It spoke in English because in every movie the aliens always spoke English so it was assumed they did in real life.)
As we continue to explore, space experts predict that private citizens will own their own spaceships and fly to the moon and beyond. My gut response was that would never happen but after seeing a man suck an egg up his nose I’m not sure. Anything’s possible.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

The Astronaut

I received a phone call from NASA informing me that I had been accepted into
their astronaut-training program. Very surprised, I said that I had never applied. There was an awkward silence for several seconds before being asked, “Do you want to be an astronaut?”
“I’m not good at math and I’m not a scientist,” I said.
“We’re not either,” answered NASA. “You got a car?”
I said yes.
“You’re in.”
“All I need is a car to be an astronaut?”
“Yea,” whispered the NASA employee. “Presently the astronauts all take the bus to get here. Do you know how it feels when you have the rocket all ready to blast off, the press is here, the world is watching and the astronauts are shown getting off the #93 bus before walking into the space center?”
“No.”
“It’s embarrassing,” stated the NASA employee. “So we’re looking for wannabe astronauts who own a car. Do you want to join?”
I’m driving down to Florida.

Dream Job

I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut. So I moved to Hollywood, went to acting school and auditioned for dozens of movies, never getting the job. I almost gave up on my dream when I discovered a place called NASA. Maybe I’ll try there.

Space Travel

NASA requested that I write an article for their magazine.

*Where No Man Has Gone Before…

Space travel. Unquestionably dangerous, but safer than getting a haircut from a dolphin, mankind has dreamt of travel in outer space. We began our journey by sending monkeys into orbit followed by white men in astronaut suits. (These men were specially picked because they couldn’t tan at the beach. NASA thought that orbiting them closer to the sun would help.)
After nearly a decade of hard work, on July 20, 1969, Apollo 11 touched down on the surface of the moon! And, just to prove that we could now go anywhere, six months later Apollo 12 touched down on the surface of China! There was no stopping us now.
During the 1970’s there was a change in strategy. Astronauts remained in earth orbit (they were all men and their wives wanted them closer to home to help with the laundry) while we sent machines into the outer reaches of the solar system. One probe named Voyager had a recorded message. If found by Extraterrestials it said, “Hello! I am from the planet earth. Do you have the time?” (It was spoken in English because in every movie the aliens always spoke English so it was assumed that they did in real life.)
As we continue to explore, space experts predict that private citizens will own their own spaceships and fly to the moon and beyond. My gut response is that will never happen but after seeing a man suck an egg up his nose I’m not sure. Anything’s possible.

Astronaut

I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut. So I moved to Hollywood, went to acting school and auditioned for dozens of movies, never getting the job. I almost gave up on my dream when I discovered a place called NASA. Maybe I’ll try there.

Good Morning…..Day 249

All I’ve ever wanted were the answers to some of the greatest mysteries in
our world. Case in point –
“While on an archeological expedition in Egypt, Dr. Salmon discovered the ancient tomb of King Itacher, the only King never preserved as a mummy but was instead ‘freeze-dried’. Instructions written on the side of the sarcophagus declared that with the addition of 5 gallons of water, King Itacher would come back to life.”
Your initial reaction after reading that paragraph is probably one of disbelief, or for the more open-minded, staunch skepticism. While that is understandable, let me point out that as little as 500 years ago the Earth was believed to be the center of the universe. Only 200 years ago bodily illnesses were believed to be caused by evil spirits. And 100 years ago you would have been considered a dreamer if you claimed that man would someday land on the moon. Reality has changed and continues to change showing us what IS the truth, even if we can’t explain it.
I wanted to explore these paradoxes shrouded in mystery to find answers. To discover another piece of the puzzle to explain the world and universe that surrounds us. That gives us our life. Well, let me say at the beginning, that the ending is only a conclusion to my story and it doesn’t come with any answers.
“In 1973, Ronald Smith claimed that he was invincible and was willing to take on any challengers. A junkyard in his town responded with the challenge of him escaping from their automobile compactor. Smith accepted the offer and allowed himself to be seated in a 1965 Chevy, which was placed in the compacter and crushed into a one-inch cube. Men screamed, women fainted and children applauded when Mr. Smith emerged from the compactor as the world’s only one inch man.”
I have never been able to find an explanation for these events. They defy the scientists who understand Einstein’s famous equation E=MC2. These scientists can explain quantum mechanics but scratch their heads trying to figure out Mr. Smith’s size. What this means is, while the universe can have black holes and neutron stars, it can also have one-inch men.
So, I guess the real question is, if answers cannot be found, what’s the point of looking? Not an unreasonable question, but I must remind you that at one point there were also no explanations for black holes and neutron stars. Now we have a basic understanding of these natural occurrences. I approached these new mysteries with hope that someday they will be explained. I wanted to start an intelligent discussion.
Where was I going to begin? I knew that if you attempted to record all of the mysteries that existed, you would produce a set of books that would encircle the globe. I needed to focus on some of the most popular subjects – ghosts, UFOs, Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle, life after death, reincarnation and Atlantis. I
decided that I would interview the people who have experienced these phenomena firsthand. The people who have seen ghosts, been abducted by UFOs, or were on the trail of Bigfoot. My experiences during this time were incredible. One does not witness the unknown and come away unaffected.

From my book “(there are no) Answers to the Mysteries” –
Available today and tomorrow (April 6 & 7, 2017) as a FREE e-book download, so what have you got to lose? If you hate it, you can tell me!