Newspaper Photographer

For years I worked as a newspaper photographer but was let go. I had the bad habit of forgetting my camera. Once I had to photograph the President and asked to borrow his.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Good Morning – July 22th

For years I worked as a newspaper photographer but was let go. I had the bad habit of forgetting my camera. Once I had to photograph the President and asked to borrow his.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Portrait

I was having my portrait taken and the photographer asked me to fold my arms. I had to decline because I can’t even fold my laundry, let alone my arms.

CPR…

toy robot

…important not just for people.

Changed a Diaper

Changed my son’s diaper today.
As you can see, it was a challenge.

Merry Christmas!

merry Christmas, brady bunch

Merry Christmas!

Good Morning…..Day 159

My mother is a person who will never admit to anything. If I accused her of being a woman, she would deny it.

Good Morning…..Day 134

Portrait

Who stole my pants?!

Good Morning…..Day 131

I awoke this morning wanting to be a photographer but didn’t know where to start. I asked friends for advice. It ranged from “get a good broom” to “carry a spare donut wherever you go.” I wanted more practical advice like, do I need a pen if I already have a pencil. One friend noticed I had matching shoes. He recommended, “Your shoes should never match.” In fact he said I should just paint my feet black. Someone mentioned a camera. “Every photographer has one.” I assumed he thought I should get one. “No. Don’t. When you get a job, walk around like you own the place, eat the food and then leave. When the client asks where are the photos? Cut pictures out of a magazine and send those. Works every time.”
I’m gonna love this job.

When Captain America Gets Old…

Captain-America

I can’t find my pills!