Vacation

Just returned from vacation. It was a short one, but I made the most of it. I drove to the nearest theme park and said hello to the security guard. My neighbors are from New Mexico and I’m learning to speak New Mexican. Visited a museum that had an exhibit about museums. Had lunch at a deli. I ate their “Bread Sandwich”. It’s a slice of rye bread between two slices of pumpernickel. It was an exciting day.

Vacation

Just returned from vacation. It was a short one, but I made the most of it. I drove to the nearest theme park and said hello to the security guard. My neighbors are from New Mexico and I’m learning to speak New Mexican. Visited a museum that had an exhibit about museums. Had lunch at a deli. I ate their “Bread Sandwich”. It’s a slice of rye bread between two slices of pumpernickel. It was an exciting day.

From my book Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense Available on Amazon.

Good Morning – May 26th

Just returned from vacation. It was a short one, but I made the most of it. I drove to the nearest theme park and said hello to the security guard. My neighbors are from New Mexico and I’m learning to speak New Mexican. Visited a museum that had an exhibit about museums. Had lunch at a deli. I ate their “Bread Sandwich”. It’s a slice of rye bread between two slices of pumpernickel. It was an exciting day.

From my book – Good Morning: Your Guide to Utter Nonsense

Vacation Time!

Just returned from vacation. It was a short one, but I made the most of it. I drove to the nearest theme park and said hello to the security guard. My neighbors are from New Mexico and I’m learning to speak New Mexican. Visited a museum that had an exhibit about museums. Had lunch at a deli. I ate their “Bread Sandwich”. It’s a slice of rye bread between two slices of pumpernickel. It was an exciting day.

Mini-Vacation

I just returned from a mini-vacation. I flew there in a mini-plane and landed on a mini-island. I was served mini-meals by mini-people. At night there was a mini-moon in the sky. I had a mini-time.

Vacation

Just returned from vacation. It was a short one, but I made the most of it. I drove to the nearest theme park and said hello to the security guard. My neighbors are from New Mexico and I’m learning to speak New Mexican. Visited a museum that had an exhibit about museums. Had lunch at a deli. I ate their “Bread Sandwich”. It’s a slice of rye bread between two slices of pumpernickel. It was an exciting day.

Good Morning…..Day 264

I wanted to go mountain climbing. Trouble is, I can barely climb stairs without getting tired. I put an ad in the paper asking for someone to carry me up a mountain, but no one responded. Then it hit me – go skydiving. Fly over the mountain, jump out, land on it, hide the parachute and tell everyone I climbed it. That’s exactly what I did. Unfortunately I forgot one thing – I had to climb down the mountain. Now I’m stuck here. I called the post office and asked if they’d forward my mail.

Good Morning…..Day 79

My wife and I are planning our vacation. She wants to go to Disney World in Florida. I want to go to Disneyland in California. Normally our disagreements are politely resolved but this is getting ugly. She sautéed my goldfish because I named him “Mickey”. I microwaved her Disney Princess dresses. The police were called when I wore my Winnie the Bear costume, she wore her Gaston outfit and we threw dishes at each other on our front lawn. Disney headquarters heard about us and now we are banned from visiting their parks. We’re considering Universal Studios. I want to go to the one in Florida. She prefers the one in California. I’m moving out until a decision is made.

Mother-in-Law Problems

Flying-Over-America

On a recent post, I showed my Mother-in-Law coming to visit.

Here, I’m going on vacation with the family and she’s following me.
I can never get away from that woman.

Bad Day at the Beach!

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