Laundry

I bought a new washing machine. I use it to clean my old washing machine.

Dating

Dating was difficult for me. Women did not like it when I’d show up in my shorts, asking for something to wear.

Talking Dog

My dog loves doing his DeNiro impression.

Healthy Eating

I stopped eating healthy. I felt so good I didn’t recognize the feeling and thought something was wrong.

Teaching

I applied for a job at a school as a substitute teacher. I was hired and put in a classroom with substitute students.

My Brother, The Baker

My brother, a baker, sold a specialty line of exploding birthday cakes. Imagine his surprise when he bought a dog from a store that specialized in exploding pets.

Bow & Arrow

My father was an old-fashioned provider. He hunted with a bow & arrow. There was never a problem until he came to the canned-good section in the supermarket.

Car Rental

I needed to rent a car but the dealer didn’t have any on the lot. He suggested another company but they only rented trains.

Winning Ticket

I had the winning ticket at a raffle. When I asked about the prize, I was told it was the ticket.

Mobile Home

I bought a mobile home. Everyday I find it in a different town.